When Love Fades Away

"That summer when I was 18, Ryan took my virginity. I endured the pain, but secretly felt happy all night long, thinking my six years of secret love had finally come to fruition. Until the next day, when I overheard his friends teasing him: "Not bad, you scored with the class beauty." I felt embarrassed and was about to quietly leave. Then I heard Ryan's casual reply: "I want to pursue the school beauty, but I'm afraid she'll think I'm too inexperienced. "So I'm using Mia to practice my skills first." I didn't say anything. At the last moment before the deadline, I silently changed my college application from New York to Florida. 1 Ryan's words hit me like a bolt from the blue, completely catching me off guard. My mind went blank instantly. On such a hot summer afternoon, I felt chills all over my body. The conversation in the classroom continued. The others seemed stunned for a moment before speaking again. "As expected of Ryan, even the class beauty is just practice for him." "Doesn't that make her like, you know, a maid for 'special services' in those old wealthy families?" Ryan laughed carelessly: "Don't talk nonsense. It's not like she's losing out." Someone immediately agreed. "That's right, the class beauty has gotten a bit thin. Compared to the school beauty, her figure is..." Ryan irritably threw a book at him, interrupting his comment. "It was just a moment of impulse. The mood was right, and she seemed to be struggling to hold back too..." The others exchanged knowing looks and teased him: "Who would've thought the class beauty was the sultry type." "Tsk tsk, it's our Ryan's irresistible charm. Might as well eat the meat right in front of you." "The class beauty has been chasing after Ryan for so many years. I guess she finally got her wish. She probably wanted to jump him long ago." The laughter in the room grew noticeably louder. I bit my lip hard, my hands clenched into tight fists. It took all my strength to keep steady and not collapse at the classroom door. Footsteps approached from the end of the hallway. I snapped back to my senses and fled the scene in a panic. In my confusion, I hid in a bathroom stall. 2 Tears of heartbreak and humiliation were already flowing freely. Ryan's words echoed in my mind over and over, nearly destroying all of my self-esteem. If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I never would have believed that he was the same person who had been so passionately intimate with me just last night. So it turns out you can do such intimate things even without love. Even in the most passionate, irrational moments, it's possible to lie and deceive. What I foolishly thought was the culmination of our relationship was nothing more than a joke to others. The more I cried, the more upset I became. But I didn't dare make any loud sounds. My body kept shaking uncontrollably. After a long while. My phone buzzed with a message notification. It was from Ryan. [Take a cab home yourself. My class is having a party tonight, so it...